So, here it is, folks.
I woke up this morning to what I can only call a physical “NO” response to the thought of leaving my warm, soft haven.. Every cell of my body seemed to cry out RESISTANCE, RESISTANCE. I somehow forced myself to get up and flail into my uniform before flopping out the door and stumbling comically onto my bike…where I arrived late to T’ai Chi Ch’uan and didn’t even want to make eye contact with anyone (HUGE group today..awesome.. (-.-) while I joined the line.
I chose NOT to bow to the instructor before I began the warm-ups, which is a disrespectful and rude action toward that individual, and therefore shaming to mySELF, and then proceeded to fill my head (and therefore muscles) with all kinds of degrading and haughtily judgemental thoughts about the “careless” leadership before me and the heavily applied make-up on the face of the girl next to me. To make it even worse, I then started to notice a deep discomfort in both my knees during nearly every movement, which was further exacerbated by the disapproving notice of the bags and purses behind me, the shoes under the seats, and the cell phones out in the open. All of these things should be stored neatly in the locker room before class started.
Clearly, I was making a simply wonderful morning terrible by inflating my ego and donning a negative attitude toward the people around me. All the while this was going on, my Spirit absentmindedly observed myself and took a motherly sort of pity on me, wondering why I was choosing to construct such a personally terrible kind of morning for my already tired self.
The class ended and I took myself home, stopping by the cafe to grab my sweatshirt. I picked up a copy of the CN&R and flipped thru it disgustedly. It seems to be the case that the steady incline of knowledge in any given field regarding the modern state of large-scale society serves to only increase your disdain for it..
In any case, I arrived home to find our parking space yet AGAIN occupied by someone’s unknown, self-entitled vehicle and found myself even MORE annoyed with the behaviors of other people. This seems like a good point to remember that all of this perception and feeling was going on silently, stealthily, beneath the surface of a rather calm, placid physicality.
As I pour the entire contents of a vial of Zipfizz onto a pile of ice in a clear glass, I take note of the bright pink hue of the liquid and scan the ingredients list nonchalantly, wondering how ELSE my day could NOT be any better, searching for chemical dyes I’ve been adding every morning along with my drink… When I failed to find any mention of a dye or food coloring additive, I irritatedly declared to my roommate standing beside me, “Well gee, that’s certainly a pink drink..and yet, I can’t seem to find any mention of a dye included on the label..it makes me wonder what ELSE they’re putting inside that isn’t listed..” Just as I finish spitting out that sentence, I see it: BEET JUICE. My drink filled with electrolytes and vitamins was colored NATURALLY… I suddenly felt I should rejoice and in an INSTANT my day and mindset became instantly better. 😀
What a shift it is. 🙂
The moral of the story, my loves-to-read-long-winded-facebook-statuses-friends, is that even the SLIGHTEST bit of goodness in a seemingly chaotic world can make a WORLD of difference in someone who’s having a hard time realizing the beauty of the moments.
The truth is that I have a safe, comfortable space to rest my head at night. I have pillows to cushion me and blankets to warm me up with. ^_^
The truth is that I was feeling a bit ill this morning and hormonally am having that ONE “bad day” that I seem to get regardless of the circumstances every month. I’d say that, since that equates to 12 “bad days” in a year’s time cycle, and THAT’S a general happiness rating of almost 97%…meaning, if I continue on my Spiritual Path of Development, I am really only UNHAPPY around 3% of the time these days…and THAT’S pretty freaking amazing-! 😀
The truth is, the person who led the class has an excellent attitude any time he is selected the lead the class, and is always pleasant. 🙂
The truth is, the girl next to me is undeniably beautiful, healthy, and otherwise attractive. Her make-up was bold and carefully applied. She made me feel angry about societies’ pressures on women, but there was no reason for me to take offense at her own personal choices. Truly, her lips and eyes are alREADY stunning. ^_^ Good for her. 🙂 She’s also a serious and focused student. ^_^
The truth is, my knees were straining because I’ve been pushing myself further and further in each movement. In fact, they feel fine now and are happy I’m learning. 🙂
The truth is, the bags and purses and shoes and cell phones really DO need to be in the changing room…but it’s not my place to stress about it and it shouldn’t affect my inner peace or outward practice. 😛
The truth is, I don’t have a car and shouldn’t mind when someone chooses to park their car in the empty spot for our apartment.
The truth is, I was feeling stressed about my own hopeless feelings for mySELF and was looking for any and all excuses to justify that negative thinking…
In reality, my peers are exceptional individuals and my life is excellent. I have a joyfilled, progressively simple life and I am proud of the environment I am consciously creating. ^_^
All this disastrous outlook to a blissful, peaceful accepting…and all it took was a large corporation’s choice to use a bit of beet juice… 🙂
Thursday, 16 October 2014