Habitual Fixation – Day 637

24 October 2012

I drove today.  To the theater and back.  I didn’t plan right.  The emotional disturbance from looking thru all those papers had really gotten to me.  I slept away the entire day away..  I didn’t go to bed until I was finished going through it.  I put the bed up against the wall and took all the bins…and emptied them out onto the floor in my room.

 

That is more or less what it looked like.  I started working on it at 1345 Tuesday.  It wasn’t until 4AM this morning that I finished.  Next weekend (after Halloween) I am going to take it all to a burn-pile.  I have to release it and be freed from it.. I can’t wait for it to be removed from my existence.

On another note, I did go to Tai Kwon Do and then to my call-back.  I got called-back for the Sound of Music at a local theater.  That should be fun.  When I got up there, I completely forgot all the words to the music.  I have it memorized even now, but something happened when he started the music.  I just completely blanked on it.  I had to ask for the lyrics.

Then again, the rest of the audition went fairly well.  I couldn’t focus in Tai Kwon Do either..and then trying to converse with my friend after class, I simply couldn’t collect the words right.  I close off emotionally every time I am around him.  I also avoid eye-contact for the most part.  Why do I do that?

I got an unpleasant call from my doctor also.  My HPV may have developed..  It’s too bad, really.  One year of poor, poor choices..  *sigh*

Now it’s only the rest of my life I’ve got to deal with. =\

I miss my sister. ❤

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