Quixotic

Definition provided by The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Other important copyright information here.

Quixotic:

Adjective
1. Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality. 2. Capricious; impulsive: “At worst his scruples must have been quixotic, not malicious” (Louis Auchincloss).
Etymology
From English Quixote, a visionary, after Don Quixote, hero of a romance by Miguel de Cervantes.
Other forms
quix·ot’i·cal·ly adv.quix’o·tism n.

This is how it seems my feelings towards him are right now. Earlier, I wrote that poem about missing him, and I truly did. However, I had also taken to accepting the fact that I’d never see him again, and I was finally over him after a few weeks. I had finally gotten used to being without him, finally gotten used to the idea that I would never see him again. It’s as if my life was going great, and the rooms of my heart were completely organized. Then, I met him for the first time, and he moved some of my things around, placed them in a different order…changed my priorities…then when he left, I thought I’d never see him again and I got sad, so I decided to try and put my things back where they were before I met him…to forget him…to get him out of my head and stop thinking about him everyday…wondering how he was or what he was doing or if he was okay…to go on with my life, un-phased…then right when I had almost fixed things back, he comes back into my life and rearranges them again with his clever air as he sits, perfectly balanced upon my lap, and glances casually down as if I can’t notice him staring, and then-he leaves again, and what am I left with…? All but a perfectly organized room in my heart…and the newly stirred emotions in my love of him…but…why must things change so much…and make the simplest of lives so…complicated…so now my thinking has turned quite quixotic about this whole affair…

July 17, 2005