Burdened in Essence

 

Are you staring at something?
Are you claiming it’s me?

Yes, I know I’m transparent.
It’s not some secret I keep.

Each day has always been should and did
Homework, chores? I had a life I lived.

What seemed to work from the outside, on the inside is shot.
“She’s been through a lot,” They saw things I forgot

Singing in the shower and writing on the desk
Disgusted with home cuz my whole room’s a mess

Feeling so many feelings; tell me what’s the deal?
If I put them together, will it make something real?

I have so much worth sharing, so much it’s just scary.
If I let myself out, could you promise I won’t be so wary?

I wanna be big and still live simple; lovin life while livin large.
This life is so tough I forget who’s in charge.

If you knew who I was, you’d be oh-so confused.
I argue with myself so I don’t need it from you.

You don’t know me now and you never will,
But I don’t think that means we shouldn’t try, still?

I have no idea what I want and don’t seem to care
I’m living life day to day while at you I just stare

Like fruit on a tree in a garden next door
You want it like crazy but you don’t know what for

It’s not always simple, and it’s not always right
But isn’t that the point of even living this life?

If things could be perfect, if you could be mine
It’d be less exciting and we’d never cross lines

Although it sucks being unloved and feeling so cheap
I still treasure your time and cry when I sleep

This feeling is difficult, an emotion so powerful
The pain and the sorrow are always so bountiful

Trying to fight it is nothing that’s new
Still standing strong through life after you

But the soul-splitting agony that tears me apart
Is not something I can tolerate, so don’t even start

I told you I loved you, you danced round my brain
Now I’m spinning in circles right out in the rain.

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