Consent & Sexual Battery

Ugh; this feeling.  Ugh; the feeling.  Ugh..the thinking..you might be pregnant with an insignificant-other’s tiny fetus.  Especially when you’ve been on really steady, effective, long-term birth control for the last 4 years and for almost the whole portion of the last one you haven’t even been sexually active..  FUCK that, man..  FUCK that noise.  As if it isn’t bad enough being viewed as a desirable ‘of-child-bearing-age’ female in a fucking twisted, over-sexualized, stress-filled world…can I help it if I was born with good genes, small tits, and a vagina?  Fuck this.  On top of everything else, do ALL my friends have to turn into midnight-cuddly-horny douche-bags?  Seriously, man..

I have recently become aware that I must have absentmindedly stepped backwards onto a subway train called “Innocent-Naivete” a couple of years ago.  There are several popular stops along the journey and you are welcome to step off at any time.  As examples, these villages and towns include, “Still Unaware,” “Delusionalville,” and the ever popular, “Bad-Decisions-Justified.”  However, if you end up getting off closer to the end of the journey, assuming you don’t ride that train all the way to its final destination (of DEATH,) you will likely arrive at around the fourth-to-last-stop, which is a spiritual wasteland known as “Jaded.”  (I would guess that the third-to-last is “Pretty Faded,”while the second-to-last is “Totally Fucked Up?” or some such catastrophe?)  In any case, the contemptible label of those who have disembarked in the city of “Jaded” is particularly true when it comes to unwanted sexual encounters.  Rape?  No, I’m definitely not feeling as much like a victim as a less-than-willing participant.  In this recent situation, I certainly couldn’t claim that I was “raped” by any means.  Did I wind up engaging in unwanted sexual activity with someone I was entirely unattracted to?  Totally.  Now, what is the difference, you ask?  Well, let’s discuss and explore this a bit.

When it comes to consent, actual verbalizations with WORDS are popular and encouraged among new-age folks as the most effective and direct form of acceptable dialogue surrounding sexual contact.  Now, did I use my words to express disinterest in the pursuit of any sexual activity with this person?  Yes I did.  In fact, at that point, I felt absolutely no sexual arousal whatsoever and even experienced a little physical/mental revulsion about the idea of kissing or having sex with that at all, even just as a concept.  Now, when words are used in an honest and direct way to express oneself and attempt to make yourself clear, it’s important that those words be acknowledged, validated, and respected.  The whole, “Oh, well *I* wasn’t even thinking about sex until you mentioned it” approach is a detestable cop-out-response that makes the person who shared their thoughts and feelings with you feel like a complete ridiculous one-track-minded-pervert.  The thing is, dude – if you have a penis, the person you’re spooning can totally feel your chubby.  It’s just the truth, okay?  While ladies (and dudes with impressively small penises) might have a better job of hiding their excitement than you, it doesn’t mean that we are also able to simply ignore the suggestion you make when you “innocently” poke your semi-erect sex-organ against our butt or thighs.  So, once someone has (even inadvertently) come into any kind of contact with your growing boner (even just a visual), it is now too late for the “Well YOU’RE the only one thinking about sex..” line to be ANY kind of effective at neutralizing an already tense situation.

Now, once you’ve already expressed dissent to such a situation, the intrusion of an erect penis into the experience seems like borderline sexual-battery to me.  Afterall, in a perfect world it could be a natural thing to engage in sexual activity with other adult members of the same species at most times, so it seems only TOO natural that coming “face-to-face,” (so to speak..) with a throbbing boner would make us prone to want to interact with that boner.

 

…to be continued…

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