21 Things I Want {in a significant Lover}

Several people have expressed surprise or confusion when I label myself “polyamorous.” The truth is, I had been sexually chaste during the majority of this labeling; and pretty much a social hermit on most accounts.  However, that doesn’t mean that just because I’ve been abstinent that I am anti-sexual or anti-romantic. Quite the contrary, it merely is the case that I believe in romance and have been working out the finer points of my own Self.

I have surrounded myself with a myriad of unique and passionate individuals in order to feed more complicated portions of my finer self.  I’ve very much enjoyed this time and benefited from it.  I hope those involved have also found more of themselves thru the process.  I dream to find just ONE person who embodies all of these wonderful qualities which *I* myself hold dear to me, at which point I will stick with that One Being until the day I am no longer able to.. (death?) O.o

As it is, I am engaged in a closed, monogamous relationship with my current partner and it’s proving to be quite beautiful.  I suppose only time will seek to tell if we are meant for some kind of forever.  We love and live with one another regardless.  Up until that moment when I decide to join my soul with his if he asks me, I will continue to savor time and company among many different individuals and groups and atmospheres which fulfill various needs within me and help me feel FULL and whole collectively.  When I choose to be linked inextricably with another human being, I will do so with unwavering resolution and enticement of the process.

For now…thanks, world, for offering all the things I need. I’m growing.

21 Things I Want {in a significant Lover}

(“Not necessarily needs, but qualities that I prefer.” – Alanis Morissette)

Originated ~ 11 October 2012 : Revised 30 June 2014 : Revisited 01 June 2015

1. – Someone who is educated about the true purpose of religion and understands that the undercurrent bringing ALL living things forward in time is, and always has been, Love.

2. – Someone who is open to the idea of being friends for a very long time before anything sexual is experienced; or otherwise working on shaping a lightening-fast romance if the spark is there and pieces fall into place, as it were.

3. – Mental companion for late night walks/philosophical quandaries at all hours [must be a strong minded and open individual with many formed opinions.]

4. – Counterpart for meditation and physical fitness activities [seeking someone who appreciates their body as a living, breathing being and respects it.]

5. – Meal companion for food preparation/cooking/experimenting with recipes [must be health-conscious and appreciate the fineries of being a “localvore.”]

6. – Someone who enjoys absorbing material that is intellectually productive and stimulating [films, events, discussions, lectures, literature, music..etc.]

7. – Someone who is intensely cheerful and always positive for those around them when we are in public [must be willing to think seriously about emotional topics and feel deeply, without it overwhelming their social consciousness.]

8. – Someone who is aware of and sensitive to other cultures/ways of life.

9. – Dance partner (strong lead) to spontaneously go out ballroom dancing with any place, any time — including in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, park, and living room. [Dances must include Waltz, Hustle, and Night-Club 2-Step.]

10. – Someone who embraces all others in their consensual sexual acts/preferences and stands hand in hand with the LGBTQ Community, whether or not they self-identify with any particularly “deviant” label (deviant of heteronormative sexuality or lifestyle.)

11. – Someone who cares passionately for our environment and acts to improve it with daily choices.

12. – Someone who is an avid conversationalist, increasingly developing higher and more expansive levels of intelligence and presence by allowing fresh insight from the Universe thru those around him.

13. – Someone who enjoys riding bicycles, surfboards, skateboards, and snowboards or is willing to learn such things. [Hiking, tennis, rock-climbing, Tae Kwon Do, T’ai Chi Ch’uan, Ultimate Frisbee, Skydiving…being OPEN to trying organized activity in society is a lovely mindset.. ]

14. – Someone who finds physical intimacy to be something developed and sacred between two living beings [must appreciate life at all stages, including human, animal, and plant life] and listens to the expression from my body as much as they communicate through their own.

15. – Someone who thrusts himself into the continuous experience of learning and finds awe and wonder in daily moments.

16. – Someone who wants to live and prosper as an integral part of an active, self-sustaining community and still take every opportunity to live/work/study abroad throughout life.

17. – Someone who, when the time is right, feels sexy and self-confident and likes to boldly let loose with soul-shaking laughter and smiling.

18. – Vocal performance partner (tenor preferred) to sing with: Open Mics, Karaoke, Small Benefit Shows, etc.. [duet partner must be familiar and comfortable with Disney and showtunes.]

19. – Someone who is willing to support my desire to exist without a laptop or cell phone.

20. – Someone who doesn’t deliberately inhale the smoke of any mood-altering or mind-altering substance [marijuana, tobacco, et al.] and makes a special occasion of the consumption of alcohol.

21. – Someone who is not addicted/reliant/dependent on any foreign substance (caffeine included) and is able to participate in periods of fasting from the consumption of all things excepting water for introspection and widening connection.

So yes, as you can see – this is quite the list of standards/expectations for one person. The hidden rope that binds it all together of course is the “In-Love” element…that “Spirit-Spark” or “Twitterpated” feeling I haven’t truly experienced on any sustained level for over 5 years now…and only once before that.. I’ll need that feeling if I am ever to declare any kind of significant long-term relationship again..

For now, I simply Live!

{Remember – you DO deserve to Be Happy. Don’t accept lazy mediocrity…we are all filled with unimaginable greatness. It’s important to sit down with oneself and decide what you want.  Get it.}

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