What Does It All Mean?

The other day I was making dinner for my family, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Before long, I had taken my cell phone out of my pocket and the contact list was already set to his number. I wanted to call him so badly…I needed to talk with him…to know that he was okay. However, while I was fighting with myself about whether or not to click send, my dad came in the house (everyone was outside washing the cars, I was cooking dinner) and informed me that the rice was burning, so my yearning had to be put on hold for a while. By midnight, my mind was racing. I could no longer resist the urge to get in contact with him, to see if he even had his old number, or find out where he was living now. So I texted him, and within minutes, he had called me back. As the phone began to vibrate in my hand, I couldn’t think, nor could I move. I let it ring itself out, before realizing I had missed HIS attempt to get in contact with ME (since I just got {my own} cell phone and he didn’t know that number yet) I immediately called him back, and although it was past midnight, we only talked for 7 minutes or something since he was driving, but I was relieved and proud of myself for taking the risk.

Then, today, at the book buy for Mercy, I got my locker. Nothing was too peculiar about that until I looked down at my locker combination. “WHAT?! Wait, maybe I’m reading it wrong…§…no…that’s definatly it…my new locker combination…was HIS birthday…and I had also been having dreams about him for a long time, dreams about nothing in particular, just dreams hinting that I needed to talk with him, and he needed to talk with me too…the feelings are all there…the history, the future…if only he didn’t see age as such a huge barrier…but why am I having so many signs with him? Is he…do you think he might be…do you think…no…couldn’t be…is he..the One?”

October 24, 2004

———————————

A few days ago, I was cooking dinner and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Before long my cell phone was in my hand and it was already set upon his number. I wanted to call him, I needed to talk with him, to know that he was okay, and where he living now. As I was fighting the urge to click send, my dad came inside the house and informed me that I was burning the rice, so my yearning had to be put on hold for the rest of the day as I worked. (my whole family was outside, I was inside, cooking their dinner:

beans + rice + meat = Mexican.)

By mignight, my mind was racing. I didn’t want to actually speak with him, because I thought he might be asleep. So I decided a text was the way to go. I had sent in without a moment’s hesitation. Less than a minute later, he had called me back. As the phone began to vibrate in my hands, I couldn’t think, nor could I move. I had let this oppurtunity pass me up, HE was calling ME. I immediatly called him, and although it was past midnight, we talked for about 6 minutes because he was driving. This satified me.

Then, at the book buy, the next day, all was fine-tuned and nothing was out of the ordinary. Then, I got my locker, and I looked down at the combination I had recieved.

“WHAT?! What does it say? Wait- maybe I’m reading it wrong. No-no, it definatly says what I think it says…yes…”

I couldn’t believe it, but my new locker combination was HIS birthday.

I kept reading it, then I got to thinking, why am I having to many signs with this guy? I had been having dreams about him lately too, dreams about nothing in particular, just the fact that I needed to get in contact with him, and to know that he was alright. Some how I knew, he wanted to talk with me too. But why am I having so many signs this time? Do you think…could he be…nah…couldn’t be…do you think, maybe…he’s the One?

August 11, 2005

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